Ultimately

I've begun a raw food diet. Today is day 2. And today, I totally caved. It's St. Patrick's Day and I work in a restaurant. The festivities and care free fun was something I couldn't help but want to enjoy. The smell of tasty food with meat and cheese just intoxicated my nostrils. The thought of going home to some raw spinach leaves, carrots, bell pepper, and sprouts with a dabble of lime juice that would leave me hungry in just one hour didn't survive the idea of a big, fat juicy burger and a side of loaded mashed potatos that would easily fill me for the rest of the evening. Now, I'm full and my taste buds are satisfied, but my stomache currently hates me.

Ultimately, my self satisfaction was greater than my desire to be healthy.

So, I started to think about this whole idea. I really need to follow through with this raw food diet - but it's the hardest, although it's probably the healthiest. I have to retrain my taste buds. These things that taste soooo good aren't always so good FOR me. So, within the confines of my eating habits, I now need to make health my ultimate, rather than my self satisfaction. And then I hear God in my head going, "Bingo!".

This totally ties in with the message we recieved at church on Sunday.

How many things in our life aren't good for us, but we do them anyway because it feels good or it's fun or it's something we've done our whole life? He made me think about how following Him isn't easy all the time, it's hard. However, if He is my ultimate, I'll stop at nothing to have Him, right? I'll press through all of the peer pressure and desires to give into my flesh. The second something else becomes ultimate in my life, God is no longer the one thing I'll do anything for. Then begins the sinning and thus follows the guilt.

So here I sit, guilty about not choosing leafy greens and some wacked out salad dressing over a burger. I didn't make health my ultimate goal today... but there's this wonderful thing called grace, and tomorrow will be a new day begining with joy in my heart.

So, what is your ultimate going to be when you wake up tomorrow?

Scarred

I have scars. Physical and emotional scars...

I have this one scar on my leg I got when I was about 12 years old. My mom was going to take us to a water park and I needed to shave. I had about 15 minutes to do it. So, I ran to the bathroom, sat on the toilet, and began to shave my legs. My cat was very curious about what I was doing and jumped up on the sink to watch. Something fell in the next room over, frightening my cat as she was poking her nose into my business and she jumped... right off the sink and onto the arm that was holding my razor. The razor tore down and into my skin and then began the bleeding... everywhere. Thanks kitty cat.

Now here I am, 13 years later, and I still have a scar where I shaved a little more than just hair off my leg. It's a funny story now, and I think it's cute that my cat was so interested in what I was doing. I didn't find it funny OR cute at the time. Butthe scar holds memories and everytime I see the scar, I remember my childhood pet who is now long gone. When other people see the scar and ask, I get to tell them the story of my favorite pet growing up.

I thought it was interesting that Jesus Christ has scars. I mean... he raised people from the dead and even put a guys ear back on his head after it had been sliced off, yet the Son of God still has scars on his body? Then I thought about it again. He still has his scars because they tell a story. They tell a story of what His life and purpose was. They remind his brothers and sisters of the freedom they have. They provide light to people living in the dark.

I'm sure it was painful to have nails driven into his hands and feet... probably not his favorite part of living on earth. But when I imagine Him showing doubting Thomas the scars on his hands, I imagine Him smiling as Thomas realized who Jesus was and what He'd done for us lowly sinners.

I've been through more than some and less than others in my 25 years of living. I've had good times and bad times. I've been wounded and healed. For some of those wounds I still have scars, but those scars tell a story of who I am and where I've been. They show the things God has done in my life. I enjoy telling people how my wounds became scars.

Also, I love it when people share their open wounds or scars with the other people in their community. It shows what God is or has been doing in their life. It's a shame when people hide scars... because every scar has some kind of story.

So... tell me about that scar you have. You know the one... The one you don't show very often.

Over or Out?

In 1973, Darley and Batson did a study where they took 40 seminary students and asked them to write a sermon either about their future job or about The Good Samaritan parable. When being sent to deliver their sermon, they were either told they had a few minutes to get there, or they were told they were running late. On their way, they passed a victim that was laying on the ground and would cough twice as they passed. Only 10% of those students who were 'running late' would stop to help the victim, despite their assigned sermon topic.

Curious isn't it? We all know the The Good Samaritan Parable (if you don't, you can click on the title of this blog to find it), yet how many of us help a person laying on the ground... even if we're busy?

I know I've been raised with much skepticism about people 'in the streets' asking for help. They could be pretending to get money, to get drunk, to kidnap me, to do whatever what was on their ill willed agenda. Because of this, I must say, I have neglected to help the homeless more times than not.

Matthew 25:44-45 They will reply, “Lord, when did we ever see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or sick or in prison, and not help you?” And he will answer, “I assure you, when you refused to help the least of these my brothers ans sisters, you were refusing to help me.”

There were a few times I took time out of my day, money out of my bank account, and shoes off my feet to help those I could see were suffering. When I selflessly gave to these people, my heart was filled with a joy that couldn't be created by any other thing in this world. And you know what??? I didn't die, I wasn't kidnapped, I wasn't drugged, I wasn't beaten or bludgeoned.

The Lord protected me and used those moments when I helped those around me. He didn't use those moments just to provide for those people, but to deepen my faith and realize the joy that only He can provide.

Matthew 25:34-36 "Then the King will say to those on his right, 'Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.'

On the other side of that coin, there have been times when I have been suffering. I haven't always known where my next meal or tank of gas was going to come from, but God has always provided. He's used friends and family and strangers to bless me. It is a comfort to know that God has given them joy and to know that He in turn has blessed them for their kindness and generosity in their time of need.

2 Corinthians 9:6 Remember this: Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously.

I think I need to start stepping out in faith more instead of stepping over those in need.

Attention!

The first week here in Nashville, we were ready to jump in and start trying new churches. We wanted to get connected somehow, someway, somewhere. We decided to go with some friends to their church for our first shot. As we all walked through the doors together, there was already a familiar face. However, he wasn't familiar because I knew him, but because I knew of him. A well known band member and even solo artist. I had stars in my eyes and caught myself trying to spot him in other areas of the church as we settled in for service. I had to tell myself to stop. I've been known to tell other people “They're just a person,” and here I was acting as though this person was something more. I'm not sure what got into me.

It's hard here in Nashville to not get starry eyed when Michael W. Smith stands behind you at the airport, and Faith Hill and Tim McGraw live down the street and go to Starbucks, and Jamie Lynn Spears is in town visiting her lawyer once a month, and Taylor Swift just bought a condo downtown to sit in her window and write songs. I know I enjoy the 'celebrity encounter' just as much as the next person, but why? Just to tell a story? Who made them so important? Are they just as important in the kingdom of heaven? Would I be so excited if I ran into Matt Chandler? Or Rich Nathan? Or Andy McQuitty? Or Rick Warren? Or John Edlridge? I wouldn't be telling the truth if I tried to answer yes.

My parents work for a company that has blessed our family time and time again. In both of my parents positions in management, they have been allowed special privileges or given coveted gifts and it was often because of “who they knew”. As their daughter, I have been privileged to some of these things as well. Instead of taking it as a blessing from God through these people, I began to see things in the world's eyes: It's not what you know, but who you know.

There's been a conviction in my heart about my pride. I realize that practically my whole life I've been placing everyone on this scale of who is better than who, and who I want to be like, and who I don't want to be like, and so on and so on. I see myself better than some and less than others and this has caused me to work, not for Christ and with Thanksgiving, but to prove to people around me who I am and who I can be. It isn't very fulfilling.

The cool thing my eyes are opening to see is, I work for an upside down kingdom. I work for Christ and not the world... and the least of these is the greatest (Luke 9:48).

James 2:1-4 My dear brothers and sisters, how can you claim that you have faith in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ if you favor some people more than others? For instance, suppose someone comes into your synagogue dressed in fancy clothing and expensive jewelry, and another comes in who is poor and dressed in shabby clothes. If you give special attention and a good seat to the rich person, but you say to the poor one, “You can stand over there, or else sit on the floor,” - well, doesn't this discrimination show that you are guided by wrong motives?

So, who are you paying attention to?

Exposed

A few nights ago, Kevin and I went for a walk. It had been raining and the ground was wet. As we walked along we spotted countless worms just wriggling their way across the sidewalk and street. It's such a curious thing to see these dirt dwellers willingly expose themselves to a foreign territory... outside of their natural protection of the ground.

As I'm watching all of these worms slide across the concrete and gather in small clumps, trying not to step on any, all I could think was 'there is something about the water they love!' It's as though the moisture in the ground doesn't compare to the feeling of just pure water on their skin, so much so that they expose themselves to dangerous elements such as pedestrians, cars, and birds. After some research, I found that coming out of the dirt when it rains makes it easier for them to breathe. (Worms breathe through their skin by a gas exchange. They have a mucous on their skin that allows this gas exchange to happen. They can breathe easier squirming across a wet ground in the rain than they can in moist dirt. Thus, they surface during rain.)

So, I've decided I live like a worm. I feel comfortable in my little dirt hole. I can hide things down there... dirty things that no one can see. I can squirm around and create my own little space amongst my sin and no one can see beyond the surface unless they dig... dig real deep.

But then it rains. The Holy Spirit pours down and begins to seep through that dirt... those sins I've packed away, and man does it feel good. It feels so good I want more. I'm drawn to the fresh feeling of His presence. So, I push upward into Him. Next thing I know I'm coming out of my dirty little hole... covered in dirt, but He continues to rain down and gently wash away my sins. There I am, exposed, but I breathe clearly. I'm outside of my comfort zone and the home I've made for myself, yet I've never felt quite this good before. It's so freeing.

I'm exposed and vulnerable, but so are all the others who chose to push through the dense, dark grime they've been living in for the pure feeling on His presence. That's when we draw close together as a community. We have nothing but God and each other to keep ourselves clean.

Every now and then I have this desire to dive back into that dirt and start digging a new hole, but then I remember how awesome His presence is, I don't get very far before I come back out.

John 4:13-14 Jesus answered and said to her, Whoever drinks of this water shall thirst again, but whoever drinks of the water that I shall give him shall never thirst, but the water that I shall give him shall be in him a well of water springing up into everlasting life.

I'll see you in the rain.